Sooooo tired!

Okay, so I know I said I would post again on Saturday, but I didn't realize how busy it can be at the hospital. When I had Hadley, she was in the NICU so I had a lot of time in my room to do things like email and stuff. With Quinn, he was wanting to eat every 1-2 hours sometimes and there was CONSTANTLY someone in my room wanting to bug me or him. I don't mean visitors but nurses and PCAs and stuff.

My recovery in the hospital went well. It was pretty painful at times, and breastfeeding was causing bleeding and pain, but we got through it. Quinn was circumcised on Saturday, and he is recovering from that. Sunday night he was down to 6 lbs 10 oz so they made me supplement with formula. Not what you want to hear at 1 AM when you're exhausted. We used a syringe and tube to supplement at the breast. I had never done that before, but it was easy enough.

The pediatric nurse practitioner told me Monday morning to supplement until my milk came in. It came in around lunch time that day, and I met with a lactation consultant during a feeding right before I left. She said my milk was there and that Quinn was getting plenty now. The nurse still sent me home with formula and stuff and she strongly recommended that I supplement until we brought him in on Tuesday to have his weight checked.

I really didn't want to have to mess with that stinky crap when we got home, so I woke Quinn up really often overnight and made sure he ate. When I brought him in Tuesday morning at 9 AM he was up to 7 lbs 5 oz! Nearly up to his birth weight. Usually babies reach their birth weight around 2 weeks, so he is ahead of the game. What a difference 33 hours can make!

I have been crying at least once a day over something irrational. I am hormonal and sleep deprived, and I remember crying after Hadley was born, too. The longest stretch of sleep I have had since Quinn arrived was 4 hours on Saturday night. Needless to say it is starting to catch up with me. I'm just exhausted...in fact I should be napping now, but I really wanted to update.

Oh, and my feet are about twice their regular size. VERY swollen. I am hoping they will go down by the end of the week. If they don't, I might call my doc to make sure this is normal. My wrist also hurts from my IV, but that's nothing unusual.

Hadley is doing great with Quinn. She asks to hold him and wants to kiss him and is always concerned about where he is. I am struggling with finding time to spend with her, though. Breastfeeding is taking up my entire day and night and I miss her so much. I cannot find much time to spend with her. It doesn't help that I cannot lift her or get down to play with her yet. Hopefully in another couple of days I will be more recovered from my surgery. She is still adjusting to not having the rocking chair in her room anymore. Her nap and bedtime routine are off because I always read and rocked her in her room before she went down. The chair is in Quinn's room now and I'm not always there to tuck her in. I think it is hard on her, but she is surviving just like the rest of us.

Ben is off this week and my Mom is here until tomorrow, so I have had some help these first few days at home. That's great because I would not even have time to feed and bathe Hadley or feed myself for that matter. I forgot how much work a newborn can be. At least he is a very good baby and really only cries about hunger and over having his diaper changed. Well, so far anyway.

I know that Quinn was not one of our main choices, but in the end it was what we both liked best. It really does fit him.

Well, I'm going to try and rest some more. I'll post again when I can. Thanks to all for their good wishes.

Quinn's Birthday!

He's here! Quinn West was born at 11:18 AM today. He weighed 7 lbs 7 oz and was 18 1/2 inches long.

I came to the hospital this morning for an amniocentesis and the ultrasound tech couldn't find a good pocket of fluid for the doc to place the needle. Then doc asked for an AFI (amniotic fluid index). It was 3.6! Crazy - I was just checked by ultrasound on Tuesday this week and my fluid was fine.

So...we went ahead with the c-section because of low fluid - the same reason I had one with Hadley. Luckily my placenta made it 4 weeks longer than the last.

Things are going well. Quinn finally latched on well about an hour ago and fed. The first couple of attempts were not that successful, but that's pretty normal.

We've got visitors here so I'll post again tomorrow.

37 Weeks 4 Days

No change at the doc today. Baby is still head down and everything looked great on ultrasound. I am still only 50 % effaced and I am not dilated at all. My doc said we will certainly see Friday. So it looks like a c-section unless something drastically changes. I don't really care what happens as long as baby and I both come out okay. Doc said she thinks he might be 9 lbs. Holy crap!

37 Weeks 3 Days

I am ready to be done with this! I am so tired and uncomfortable and in pain. It is hard for me to put on socks and shoes - and pants for that matter. I have a bad pain in my pelvic / groin area on the right that makes me want to cry when I turn over at night. My back and feet ache constantly and my left knee hurts sometimes. I am still having reflux about 2 nights a week where I wake up coughing and choking on vomit/stomach acid. I only sleep for a couple of hours at a time before I wake up from reflux or hip pain or a full bladder. I weigh a ton and have new stretch marks. I am very swollen, especially in the hands and feet. I now have to eat 7 times a day at specific times, check my blood sugar 7 times a day, and give myself 5 shots a day. I have 3 to 4 tests and doctor appointments a week. I cannot pick up Hadley as much as I want to or get on the floor to play with her. All in all, I've had enough! Sorry about the complaining, but pregnancy kind of sucks right now.

I am still having contractions that go away when I rest and none that are regular. I have them more often when I am working. Work was long today and I still have Weds and Thurs to go before I am done. I did a bunch of stuff around the house this weekend, so of course I didn't rest as much as I should have. I am really looking forward to Friday.

I have an ultrasound tomorrow and I see the doc after - I will post more after that.

36 Weeks 6 Days

I had a ton of contractions at work yesterday but they slowed down in the evening. They are more frequent when I'm active and slow down when I rest. They are still probably doing some pre-labor work, but are no reason to head to the hospital.

I had my last pre-delivery appt with the endocrinologist's office today. I am glad those are done - what a pain they were! I brought Hadley with me and she was very good. She was a little wild, but not naughty.

I am going to rest and drink tons of water this weekend in case labor does happen - I want to be well-rested and hydrated. I am feeling like I will not go before the c-section date, but you never know. He might decide to come on his own time. I don't really care what kind of delivery I have as long as we are both healthy and safe.

I'm going to try to post frequently until I deliver since this is the last leg of the pregnancy. I want to remember it!

36 Weeks 5 Days

I saw the doctor yesterday and I'm not dilated even one bit - no change from last week. Baby did well on his BP again. I am still measuring at 38 weeks (same as last week). She said that's probably because he has dropped further into my pelvis. Nothing else to really report there.

I woke up twice last night to go to the bathroom and once or twice from contractions. They seem to be more intense the last day or so, but still not regular. They don't really "hurt" but I know sitting at work my face gets flush and I feel hot and then sure enough my belly is tight. It seems like my whole uterus is contracting now instead of just one side of my belly. I have had more discharge in the last week, too, but it seems normal for now.

I think we have picked a name - Ben finally gave me a list of five names he likes and I picked the one I liked the best. We may still change our minds, but as of right now we're going with Quinn.

I have this feeling that I won't go into labor and that I will end up with a c-section on the 14th as planned, but I haven't been this far in pregnancy before and have nothing with which I can compare this. I will just update as I can and we'll see what happens next!

36 Weeks

Today baby passed his BP in less than 10 minutes - they allow 40 so that was quick. Everything looks great, well, except my tubby feet. You cannot even see my ankle bones anymore - just a bunch of puff. I am usually a size 8 shoe, but I am wearing a 9 right now and even those seem tight. I have a co-worker who is going to bring a 10 to work next week in case I get in trouble. They seem to be worse at work of course because I don't get a chance to put them up and rest. NOT enjoying the swelling. My watch is even too tight at times. I asked the doc what I can do to minimize the swelling and she said nothing but resting will help.

My cervix has not done squat in the past week. I guess that's good since technically I am still preterm right now. One more week and I will be doing anything I can to get this babe to come out of me. I am very uncomfortable and ready to be done.

Only a couple of things left to do around the house to get ready for the baby. I need to sterilize some new bottles and probably my pump parts since it has been a year since I've cleaned them. I need to get a couple of things to finish the nursery, but those can wait. We are also going to move the twin bed out of Hadley's room. I'm not sure where we're going to put it, but temporarily it will go in the family room. After Thanksgiving we will have to find a more permanent spot to store it.

We will have to pick a name and decide on circumcision also. I think Ben will help if I go into a bit of a hormonal rage about it. Hopefully it won't come to that.

35 Weeks 5 Days

I am truly feeling miserable now. I'm up half the night, exhausted during the day, and having trouble getting around and doing everyday tasks. I cannot wait for this pregnancy to be over.

Baby was sleeping through most of the non-stress test on Tuesday. The CMA had to wake him with this buzzer thing. After that, he moved and his heart rate went up, so he passed his test. I'm not sure what they do if he fails, but I really didn't want to find out by having it happen.

Officially last Thursday my cervix was 50 % effaced, or halfway thinned out. The nurse yesterday commented on that but my doc just said it had "softened" on Thurs so I didn't really know what that meant. It's funny, all this cervix stuff and labor in general is still so foreign to me even though I already have a child. I never got this far or went through any of it last time. I have been reading like crazy and trying to refresh myself about it. We took the classes last time but I forgot most of what we learned because we never used it.

I have a feeling that I will go into labor before my c-section date, but I really have no experience on which to base that idea. Something just feels different to me, but maybe that is just because I am near the end? I guess we'll know soon since my c-section is only 2 weeks and 2 days away!

We're thinking about Lucian for a name at the moment, but Ben really STILL has not spent any time talking with me about it. His grandfather died this past week, so he has had other things on his mind. However, this baby will be here soon whether he's busy or not, so I hope he can find time this weekend to help me. If not, I think I will just pick whatever I like and he will just have to live with it!

34 Weeks 6 Days

Everything looked good at my appointment this morning. Baby passed his UBP easily again. I am measuring at 37 weeks (whoa!) according to the old fashioned tape measure on the belly test. My blood pressure was up slightly, but doc didn't seem too concerned. She checked my cervix and said that it has softened some but is not dilated yet. Good news!

I signed the consent for VBAC. She said again that they will not induce me but may be able to augment labor a little with Pitocin if needed. She said if my dilating stalls at all or I don't progress then we will do a c-section. Also, we'll still do the c-section on Nov 14 at 38 weeks if things look good at the amniocentesis.

I feel extra swollen today in my hands and feet. She said I should rest and put my feet up. Like that's going to happen with a toddler at home!

Not much else happening here - still no name. I am going to force Ben to help me decide this weekend. It's driving me crazy not knowing. I'll keep you posted.

34 Weeks 2 Days

I have officially made it farther with this pregnancy than I did with the last one. That feels like such an accomplishment even though there was nothing I could have done differently with the first one to make it longer.

The non-stress test on Friday was exciting. He was so wiggly that the tracing was hard for the doc to interpret comfortably. She sent me for ultrasound after that, which of course freaked me out because I thought maybe something was wrong. Turned out that he was fine and healthy so I went back to work. I have another non-stress test on Monday and then ultrasound and doc on Thursday. I also see the endocrinologist and have a lab on Thursday. I'm a busy lady these days!

We are moving bedrooms around at our house this weekend. I am going to paint the baby's room today. It will be hard work for me, but I am excited to see it getting done. I am a little freaked out since he will for sure be here by Nov 14th at the latest. That means less than 4 weeks until he arrives. Still no name yet, either, which makes me sick to my stomach a little. I want to have something in mind before then, but not much time left now!

I am feeling okay - having a lot of rib/back pain. I think he is getting big and running out of room in there. The Protonix seems to be working better than the Zantac, so not much heartburn lately. My feet and hands are starting to swell more than they were, so that makes being on my feet not so comfortable. I swear that my belly starts right under my chest and immediately sticks out a foot. I'm all boobs and belly and I look huge. My scrub pants are getting tight, so I may have to wear my black maternity pants with my scrub tops from here on out. We'll see how things fit on Monday morning.

33 Weeks 4 Days

Things are still looking great. Baby passed his biophysical profile easily today. There is plenty of fluid and he is healthy and happy (not to mention head down).

I saw a nurse midwife today instead of my regular doc. She checked my cervix (internally by the way) and it is high and tight - just as it should be. They also screened my urine for sugar and protein - no abnormalities there either.

I have been having heartburn symptoms even on the increased Zantac so she put me on Protonix. I'll try that tonight and see if it is better.

I am outgrowing my biggest clothes. I only have 3 pairs of scrubs that fit me for work and the tops are getting snug around my belly and hips. My mom is letting out the side seams and that should help. I don't know what I will do when/if the pants get too small. I only have one pair of jeans and one pair of black pants left that fit. Thank goodness I only have to make it just over 4 more weeks.

I have another non-stress test on Friday. By then I will be 34 weeks - and I delivered Hadley at 34 weeks 1 day. So if I make it passed Saturday then I will have already carried this baby longer than the first. I am really excited about that. I would rather not have another preemie.

We are going to rearrange bedrooms at our house this weekend. Ben and I are moving downstairs and the baby will get our old room. The master is downstairs anyway, so it makes sense that we would be down there. I'll probably sleep in the baby's room on the twin bed until he is done nursing in the middle of the night. I did that with Hadley and it was much more convenient than going back and forth all night.

I hope to get his room painted on Sunday. I am leaning toward some shade of blue, but I am not sure yet. I am going to try the environmentally friendly paint that Ben sells and see how it applies and holds up to kids.

By the way, I am pretty sure that we are not going to be moving. We are just to scared to try and sell our house in this market and with the economy doing so poorly. Ben isn't sure about what comes next with his job, but for now we are going to stay put and work it out somehow. Either way he will not be let go or anything, so that is the most important thing. I am very relieved to not have to quit my job in this economy and that we don't have to sell our house before we can recover some equity.

I think Hadley's terrible twos have started. She has been testing everyone's authority lately (more so than usual) and she seems less easy going than she used to be. If she doesn't want to leave somewhere she will physically put up a fight when you are trying to strap her into the carseat. She will insist that I change her diaper if Ben tries to do it. I swear sometimes that she is naughty just to be naughty and see what she can get away with. I am positive that things will get worse before they get better - especially when she finds out we are going to "replace" her with the new baby. We're going to need lots of patience with a newborn and a 2 year old!

32 Weeks 5 Days

Well, by this time my last pregnancy, my amniotic fluid had already dropped low, and yesterday things looked great! Baby is measuring about 4 lbs 13 oz which is the 69th percentile for his gestational age. He is still head down and everything else checked out fine. I am so glad. Only 5 more weeks of tests (or less).

Oh, and I'm not sure I was right about the cervix check being on ultrasound. I think she will do it manually, but I didn't ask. Trying not to think about that one - I never had a check last pregnancy because I delivered so early. She is also going to to a urine check each week now to screen for pre-eclampsia since it tends to happen more often in women with gestational diabetes. My blood pressure is still good, so I at least have that going for me.

I am feeling okay, I'm just tired and I feel like there is no more room in my belly. My feet are huge but I cannot tell if it is just water retention or if they've grown and flattened from the extra weight.

I am pretty sure we are moving now, but there is not much to say about it since we haven't even put our house on the market yet. We still have some minor projects and clean up to do before that happens. I'll keep everyone posted.

32 Weeks 1 Day

I checked my records on Thurs and doc says if baby is still head down at 34 weeks they will do a cervix check on my ultrasound. They will check baby's growth at 33 weeks (next Tues). Baby scored 8 out of 8 on the biophysical profile.

On Friday I had my first non-stress test. They put monitors on my belly - one for baby's heart and one for contractions if any. I didn't have any contractions while I was there, and because I'm 32 weeks baby still has room to move which made it hard to keep the monitor on him the whole time. They have a doc review the tracings after and everything looked good.

I threw up in my mouth again last night. I have had a couple of bouts with heartburn again this last week, but all during the day so they were bearable. If this night thing happens again before my appt on Tues, I think I will talk to my doc about it then.

I had some pain in my lower abdomen on the right side yesterday. First at work, and then at home in the evening after I got home from running an errand. I still had it at bedtime so I put some heat on it and it went away. Probably just baby or gas or something unimportant. It definitely was not contractions.

Well, less than 6 weeks to go until my scheduled c-section. We have nothing ready at our house. Lots of work to do this weekend - I'd better get going.

31 Weeks 4 Days

The baby flipped - for now. My OB says it is still early and he still has enough room to flip again before the end. If he stays head down and labor starts and things still look good I will be able to try for a vaginal birth. Everything looked good on ultrasound and the doc measured me at 32 weeks. My fluid was okay, too. I won't know all the details of the ultrasound until I get my records on Thursday so I will post the rest of the info then. I know his heartbeat was 148 and they didn't measure his size today.

I think I was aware when he flipped this weekend because I felt his whole body move at one point. I remember thinking that I never felt anything like that with Hadley. It makes sense because by 32 weeks her fluid was quite low so she probably didn't have enough fluid to flip her whole body around.

His feet and butt keep pushing into my ribs, which Hadley never did either. Strange sensation. Heartburn is staying away as long as I take my medicine. I have gained 45 lbs so far. Holy crap! I'm not looking forward to having to lose that much. My very nice doc has not said anything about it, which is better than my last OB who loved to focus on weight.

31 Weeks

Still not much new here. I feel like the baby is already running out of room in my belly. His activity isn't as wild as it had been. He still moves, but he feels less like a super ball bouncing around in there. We're still not settled on a name or on circumcision and no room is ready yet. We better get to it because he'll be here in 7 weeks at most. Scary!

My heartburn came back in full force this past week so I called my doc. She doubled the dose and I've been fine since then. My biggest maternity clothes and scrubs are getting tighter by the day. I don't know what I'm going to do if I outgrow them. Go shopping, I guess. What a waste to only need bigger stuff for a couple of weeks!

I saw the endocrinologist this week. Nothing really new. My insulin goes up at least once a week so that is a good sign? Sometimes I feel like I know nothing about this disease. My A1C was 5.0 this time, which is good - means my blood sugar has been well controlled over the last 2-3 months.

On Tuesday, I have a biophysical profile and an OB appt. Then Friday I have my first non-stress test. I am anxious to see how he is doing and how my fluid is holding up. I have no idea if he has flipped because when I feel a foot in my ribs it seems to only be on the side that his feet were last time. He could still be breech but have his feet up by his face now. However, I cannot feel his head when I check the upper part of my belly, and I know I was able to feel Hadley's head easily. Then again, her placenta was in the back, and his is in the front...right in front of where his head would be. I guess I'll have to just wait and see what's there on Tuesday.

29 Weeks 4 Days

Okay, not much is new here, but I officially set up my appts today. My amniocentesis is scheduled for Nov 14th at 8:00 AM and I'll be admitted to the hospital after that. I have a c-section scheduled for 10:00 AM that morning and we'll be going forward with that if baby's lungs appear developed enough. I will be 38 weeks that day, so I would assume the c-section will be a for sure thing.

I am still going to try for a VBAC if baby flips and I go into labor spontaneously before the 14th. I will have a c-section on the 14th regardless if baby flips because induction is not safe due to my last c-section being less than 2 years ago.

Scary thing - eight weeks from Friday and I will have a son and a daughter - pretty cool.

Still no official word on us moving, but if the company can find a new location to lease, we're going to go for it. I'm scared about having to sell our house, but as long as we're together, the move itself will be fine.

28 Weeks 4 Days

My OB appt went well. I now weigh more than I did when I delivered Hadley at 34 weeks. They told me insulin can make you gain more weight, and I believe them now. The only thing I don't like about it is the thought of having more to lose when it is all over.

Doc said she wants to deliver me herself. She is going to the Bahamas right around my due date, so if I haven't delivered by Nov 14th (38 weeks) they will do an amniocentesis and check baby's lung development. If things look favorable, they will schedule a c-section. Sounds okay to me. We are going to go for a VBAC if baby flips and I go into labor on my own. They will not induce me because of the previous c-section and the chance of rupture. I have a feeling it will be c-section, but you never can predict anything about childbirth. I found that out the first time around.

She put me on Zantac for my heartburn problems. I guess it is pretty common for pregnant women to need meds for that. It sure has been helping. She said to let her know if the rash on my hands comes back.

I had my rhogam shot at the appt, and the first of 2 steroid injections to develop baby's lungs in case of an early delivery. I had the 2nd steroid injection today. Not too painful, but I woke up this morning with a red face and chest. I felt flushed and warm - kind of like sunburn. I called and a nurse told me to take Benadryl for it. That helped.

I forgot to mention my 2 low blood sugar incidents on Fri and Sat. It was 43 both days at mid-morning. I started to get sweaty and shaky and dizzy on Fri and on Sat I was sweaty and starving. I was able to self treat them and I never passed out or anything, but it is scary and very unpleasant to go through.

The steroids have been making my blood sugars significantly higher than usual. They warned me that would happen, and they are just leaving my insulin doses for now.

No real news about our pending move. Hope to have a more definitive answer this week.

28 Weeks 1 Day

Sorry it has been so long - I was out of town for a week and I've been busy since I've been home. My rash went away but then my skin peeled and flaked off my hands. So weird. I'm just glad it is over. I have had more problems with heartburn - I actually woke up choking on vomit the other night. It wouldn't stop so I ended up sleeping in the recliner for a couple of hours. I have an appt with my OB on Monday and I am going to ask her if I should/can use something else besides Tums. It isn't helping to take them after I barf a little, and I'm not sure they work to take them ahead of time. We'll see what she says.

Other than that, I am feeling okay. Getting huge and weighing a LOT. I had a level II ultrasound and perinatology consult on Thursday. Baby weighs 2 lbs 11 oz or so, and he looks healthy and normal. He is still breech, though. The perinatologist said that even with my varicose veins and anterior placenta I should still be able to have a c-section if I want. He didn't seem to think it was that risky to cut. I am going to talk it over again with my OB on Monday and see what she thinks based on his opinion.

I started kick counts last night. He moved 10 times in 10 minutes. I'm going to try to do it daily, but I'm not sure I am doing it right. I guess something is better than nothing. I didn't really do them with Hadley and I probably should have.

We made a little progress with Ben's job. They offered him the position and now we're waiting to see if they can find a new store location. They are not going to stay open in the current location because it isn't the best for customers and the landlord is crazy. If they can find a place in time (by October) then we might move. Scary! I'll post updates as they happen.

26 Weeks 3 Days

I called my OB's office on Friday about the rash. They said to try Benadryl at night and either Zyrtec or Claritin during the day. Benadryl is only good for 4-6 hours and the others are 24 hour pills. That was frustrating, but I tried the Benadryl overnight on Friday and woke up about the same. I took Zyrtec Saturday morning and not much changed. I haven't taken anything since then. The rash is really weird because the itchiness seems to come and go. I have bumpy skin that isn't noticeable unless you look for it closely, and it does not itch all the time. Of course, when I scratch, it gets worse. I have had it on my hands now, too, including my palms. I still have no idea what it is, but I'm not sure it is bad enough to go to the doctor for it. I guess I'll just wait it out and see if it improves.

My blood sugars have been really weird since the rash started. They may put me on Humulin N during the day, too. That is the one I take before bed that works all night. If I have it right, I would take that plus the ones before meals. What's one more shot when you already give yourself four?

Big day coming up Saturday - I've been looking forward to this one since I was 6. Hope it is a good day - I'm going to eat a big piece of cake whether my doc likes it or not. I don't think that will make the baby huge, and it will be worth it!

26 Weeks

I have a weird itchy rash on my fingers/hands - so bizarre! I woke up Wednesday morning and my fingers all itched from the middle knuckle to the fingertip. They still itch today and it feels like it moved down into my hand. I am grateful that the rash is not red or noticeable. It affected my blood sugars for sure on Weds - they were all high. The nurse said that if it is an inflammatory immune response it can make your results high.

I haven't called my OB about it yet - not that big of deal - but I hope it goes away soon.

25 Weeks 4 Days

Seems like a lot has happened since I last wrote...this should be most of it.

I met my out of pocket maximum for the year so no more medical expenses for me from here on out - awesome news!

My OB called me yesterday with an update. She wanted to make sure they changed my 28 week appt to be with her instead of the other OB with which I was originally scheduled. She wants to see me herself from here on out. She also said she had an informal conversation with a perinatologist about me and they decided I won't need a hospital admission for steroids. She said they will do it as an outpatient and just notify the endocrinologist as to what is happening. I was kind of looking forward to a day in bed :), but I guess it will be more convenient this way.

Last week they set up a level II ultrasound with the perinatology clinic for my 28 week appt. I will meet with a perinatologist after the test to get the results. That is on a Thursday, and the following Monday I have a regular ultrasound (growth check) at the OB's office and an OB doc appt (now with my regular OB).

Today I saw the NP at the endocrinologist's office. My blood pressure is still low - good news. My A1C went down since last month, which is progress. They will check in another month. She increased my bedtime insulin, but didn't make any other changes. They just increased my mealtime insulin on Thursday, though. I mentioned the steroids to her and she said that when it happens they will monitor me closely and adjust my insulin as needed. She said the steroids will cause my blood sugars to go much higher than usual. I also scheduled all of my appts at their office for the rest of the pregnancy (every other week until the end).

I have been exhausted lately. Still having contractions irregularly - one time I had 4 in an hour, but then nothing consistent after that. I get short of breath pretty quickly. I am almost outgrowing my maternity shorts but I think I can make them work until it cools off this fall. Heartburn/indigestion has been increasing lately - Tums are still working fine for that. A couple of times I have burped/hiccuped while I've been asleep and it wakes me up. Either my throat and/or nose burn or my mouth tastes like vomit - that part of it sucks. Baby moves like crazy most days. My feet are starting to hurt like the end of my last pregnancy - plantar fasciitis. I still wear the orthotics they gave me last time, so not much I can do about it other than wearing those. I think there are some exercises - I'll have to dig out the handout they gave me.

Still waiting for Ben's company to decide about his job - don't even get me started on it.

Ben and I went to Omaha the 14th through 17th. On the drive there, I went through a ton of baby names with him, and we think we may have narrowed it down to the two posted on the blog. I change my mind a lot, so you may see them change, but this is the first list on which the two of us collaborated. We had a great time just being tourists. We did a lot of fun things and had a break from Hadley and Allie. However, it sure was challenging having diabetes and eating out for four days in a row. Restaurant meals can be very high in carbs!

The only bummer about the trip was our friends had their twin boys while we were out of town - at 33 weeks...surprise! I finally got to visit today - mom is doing great, but I'm sure she is overwhelmed with double the duties. How could she not be?! The babies are still little, but Hadley was early and about their size, so I know it won't be long before they catch up!

23 Weeks 5 Days

I survived last week - Worked 45.5 hours total. That may not sound like much to some of you, but I usually only work 28 or so. I was exhausted.

I saw the NP at the endocrinologist on Friday. She increased my insulin dose some, which they tell me is a good sign of a healthy pregnancy. They would be more concerned if I progressed along and did not need more insulin. She also said that during my labor and delivery they will have me on IV insulin and they will probably check my blood sugar every hour or so. Doesn't that sound fun! She told me that people who have insulin-dependent gestational diabetes have a 50 % chance of developing type II diabetes later in life. That statistic does not include my added risk from a family history and PCOS. More good news :(

Yesterday I saw my OB. I had only gained 3 lbs since my last appt, which is good for me. I had an ultrasound again and the baby is still a boy. He weighs about 1 lb 9 oz and is measuring right where he should. His heart rate was 148, and he is still breech. My doc and I picked a date for me to go to the hospital for steroids - Sept 16. She also said she will set up the referral to the perinatologist. She was going to wait until 28 weeks to do all of this, but she decided to do it sooner rather than later after I pointed out to her that my next visit is with another OB.

We talked more about VBAC vs. c-section. My placenta appears to be moving up and out of the way so far, so that is good. She still says we will just take it a day at a time and see how things progress, which I am fine with. I feel like I have no control over anything, which is very hard to handle some days. I guess that would be true for any delivery, but it feels different this time around since I know so far in advance that I have complications. Hopefully meeting with the perinatologist will clear some things up?

My sciatica went away after a couple of days. Thank goodness! I hope it never comes back. I had one episode of diarrhea on Monday afternoon and another Tuesday evening at bedtime. So weird after I've spent most of the pregnancy constipated. I have had 3-5 contractions a day for a couple of weeks now. They have been very far apart and not consistent, so nothing to worry about.

Still no word about Ben's job situation. I am kind of hoping they move him now. I am thinking about going back to school and there is a good program up there I would like to do. We'll just have to wait and see. I hope it won't be too much longer since they initially told us the end of July. That's frustrating!

Other than that, I have just been enjoying Hadley and having fun. I swear she gets taller every week and learns a new word every day. We are having a blast with her this summer. I cannot wait to have a little brother for her to play with!

22 Weeks 2 Days

I put a couple of the names that we are considering in the margin to the left so everyone can vote for their favorite. We may add or remove more names as we get farther in the process. I just thought it would be fun for people to vote on them. Hope you enjoy!

The diabetes is going okay. I get pretty depressed sometimes about eating and schedules and not being able to go to bed early or sleep in late. Some of my blood sugars have been high, even though I have been following the diet and exercising. Even though I know in my head that there is nothing more I can do to control them, I still beat myself up when my numbers are high. I feel like I am failing at this. I see the nurse practitioner at the endocrinologist's office on Friday. I have no idea why I have to meet with them so often. I cannot imagine what we will have to talk about every other week for the rest of the pregnancy.

I have been really tired the past two weeks. I don't know what I was thinking in June when I told my work that I would work all five days next week. That's 47.5 hours in a week - I'm going to be exhausted by next weekend. Too late to get out of it now - at least I will get paid some overtime.

The baby is moving a lot now - every day I definitely feel him and I can see my belly move sometimes. He is a busy little bugger. I have another appt and ultrasound on August 5th. I'll be almost 24 weeks by then and they will check his growth and position and my amniotic fluid. I hope we continue to have good results.

Last night I started having sciatica on my right side. Basically a nerve is being compressed because of the pregnancy and I've got pain in my butt and low back on that side. It kind of comes and goes and I feel it mostly when I am active and when I flip over in bed at night. I didn't sleep well last night. I tried a heating pad on it this morning, but I am not sure it really helped much.

I painted Hadley's table and chairs that she got from her Nana and Papa last year. I did the table a charcoal gray and the chairs are each a different color, purple, peach, aqua, and green. It turned out really cute. We filled her little plastic pool this morning and we hope it gets warmed up by this afternoon so we can swim in it. It's very humid out there today. I gardened this morning while Ben played with Hadley in the neighbor's yard. They have a daughter that is a couple of months younger than Hadley. They had a blast and of course she didn't want to come in for lunch.

Ben and I are taking a little trip to Omaha in August. We got two free nights at hotels through our moms who gave us their points to redeem. We're staying three nights for 75 bucks. Not bad. I have no real idea of what we will do there, but we just plan on playing tourist and seeing some things. We have a goal of visiting a different state every year of our marriage, so this year is Nebraska. Hadley and Allie will stay at home with my mom, so we will have freedom. The only downside is with my diabetes I won't be able to sleep in or be relaxed about my eating schedule. Bummer. I think we will have fun spending some time with just the two of us. We need it!

21 Weeks 1 Day

To finish, my ultrasound went well - the tech was really good, she explained everything thoroughly and she showed us the boy parts at least three times. She couldn't get good pictures of the heart, though, so they will have to check that out at one of my many other ultrasounds. The baby's heart rate was 143 and he measured at 21 weeks 3 days, so right on track. She said my amniotic fluid looked normal, which is a relief, but the baby is breech, with his feet and butt down.

One interesting note is that early on they documented my placenta as posterior, but at today's test, they found it is anterior, which means it's in front of my belly. That makes the whole c-section thing really up in the air since they cannot cut into the placenta to deliver. She says the placenta should move up and out of the way as my uterus grows up, but they'll just have to watch it.

My OB explained the antenatal steroids that she plans on giving me later in the pregnancy. They will admit me to the hospital for 24 hours to administer them. I will be managed by my endocrinologist during that time and will be on constant insulin. The steroids will help develop the baby's lungs in case I deliver early again.

She is also thinking about sending me to a perinatologist. Since my pregnancy is so high risk and because there are varicose veins around my uterus, she would like them to evaluate me and see if there is a way they can evaluate those veins and my placenta more clearly before I deliver. She did say that the veins shouldn't be an issue if I were to rupture during a VBAC, but they would be a problem during a c-section. I may end up with a different kind of incision this time and she said that can sometimes impair fertility. Just what I need!

The endocrinologist increased my insulin for breakfast and lunch after seeing one day of my numbers on insulin. No big deal there, same process for me, just another click on the dosing pen. Meeting with the dietitian was pretty uneventful, she just updated me on some new stuff and answered my questions. I already know what I'm doing as far as carb counting and stuff, but there were a couple of things I wanted to clarify. Oh, and I forgot to mention yesterday that I will have to have bi-weekly appointments with their office for the rest of the pregnancy.

I am slightly disappointed that I'm not having a girl. I wanted Hadley to have a sister and we have soooo many clothes saved from her. However, I am going to be relieved to have a healthy child when this is all over, boy or girl. I think it will be nice to have a little boy. That way if we don't have any more children or I end up with a hysterectomy or major complications we will have one of each. Now I just have to come up with a boy name - they are much harder than girl names for some reason. I'm up for any suggestions if you want to put them in comments.

21 Weeks

It's a boy!! I guess my dreams were right on. We're so excited! I cannot blog more now because I have another appt at 1 PM, but more to come.

20 Weeks 6 Days

The endocrinologist put me on insulin today. Yuck. I still have to eat a certain amount of carbs six times a day at specific times. However, I have to check my blood sugar 7 times a day instead of 4, and I have to inject insulin right before I eat each meal (3 times a day). At least I have given myself a zillion shots before, so it doesn't scare or worry me to have to do that. However, taking time and coordinating my life to do it three times a day is still a pain in the rear. I'm trying not to be crabby about it, but it is hard.

I've gained 21 lbs so far. That is too much according to the "experts," but I don't feel huge anywhere except my belly. We'll see what the OB doc says about it tomorrow.

Not much else to say, but I'll definitely have new info tomorrow.

20 Weeks

Well, I'm officially halfway through this pregnancy. Probably more than halfway since I'm sure I won't make it to my due date, but 20 weeks anyway.

My fasting blood sugars have been running high even though I am following my diabetes plan and exercising every day. The OB clinic is referring me to the endocrinology clinic to see a doctor, a nurse, and a dietitian. They might start me on insulin soon but the nurse at the OB clinic said that the decisions about my treatment will all be made at the other clinic from now on. They should be calling on Monday to schedule the appts. I'm okay with it--whatever I have to do to keep us both healthy.

One week until we find out the gender - I cannot wait! Then I can make Ben help me pick out a name. It seems harder this time around, but I'm not sure why.

My belly is getting cute, and I don't feel too fat yet. I will, though, just wait - it's only a matter of time.

Baby is kicking more regularly now, and it's fun. Ben started reading to him/her recently. We read Harry Potter to Hadley and now he is reading it to this baby so that's kind of neat.

I have been very exhausted the last week or so, and I'm not sure why. Even if I go to bed early I still feel super tired all day. Maybe the sleep I am getting is not as good as I think. Guess I should just get used to being exhausted again because soon I'll have a little one to thank for that.

18 Weeks 3 Days

I checked my chart late last week and they documented that I have gestational diabetes and that they will not do the one hour test on me. I am not sure if they will still do the three hour test, but at this point, I don't see why they would. I'm already eating a diabetic diet and my blood sugars have been very good so far. I am very determined to keep off of insulin. They say there is nothing I can do to keep it from happening, but I'm going to try anyway. I am feeling frustrated with the diet, but I am making it work. It sucks, but what can I do?

My belly is getting bigger now - it's hard even to hide it beneath my scrubs. There's no way I could fit into regular clothes now. It's getting harder to get comfortable at night - still sleeping with lots of pillows. Ben is threatening to sleep downstairs just so the dog and I are not kicking him off the bed all night. I am completely oblivious to the fact that he has no room - just trying to make myself comfortable. :)

Baby is moving more now, but still not every day. I cannot wait for that to happen. Oh, and just over 2 weeks until the ultrasound where we can find out the gender. I am so excited to find out. If you haven't voted, now is the time.

I have been having trouble with my contacts lately. New eye doc and new lenses - I'm on my third trial pair with him. I just put them in tonight, but they already feel better than the other two did. Now we'll just see about tomorrow - see if I can make it a whole day at work wearing them. I keep wondering if it has been the lenses or the pregnancy that's making them not work. I have heard that pregnancy can affect your eyes - whether that's true or not, I don't know.

My hair is growing faster than usual. I am taking advantage and growing it out a bit. Slowly but surely - it was pretty short in the back so it will take awhile.

Ben and I took Hadley to a farm on Sunday and we picked strawberries. The crop was wonderful and the weather was perfect - not too hot but sunny and just breezy enough to keep away any bugs. Hadley kept picking the "green" ones and carrying them around. She was walking up and down the rows between Ben and me. She wouldn't really eat the ripe ones, either. It's weird, sometimes she likes strawberries and other times she makes a face and won't touch them. I think they can sometimes be tart at first and she thinks she won't like them. Crazy girl - she'll learn when she's bigger.

I work four days this week because someone is on vacation. I am going to be exhausted by Thursday, but we're going to the cabin with my family that night through Sunday, so I'll have plenty of time to relax after that. Cannot wait!

17 Weeks 3 Days

My appt last Friday was pretty uneventful. Things looked good and the NP did not seem too overly concerned about the blood sugars. She did say that she would tell the RN that works with gestational diabetics and if needed the nurse would call me.

I got that call today. She said to follow a diabetic diet, check my sugars 4 times a day and call her once a week to report results. She said they will test me for diabetes at 24 weeks or earlier depending on what my doc thinks about the home testing results. She said they don't want to test me too soon because they will end up having to retest later if I pass because they don't want to miss the illness altogether by testing too early.

She said my monitoring at the end of my pregnancy is the same that they do for moms who are insulin dependent during their gestational diabetes, so I am already scheduled for everything I would need if that happens. She said I will be treated like a diabetic and they will try to test me at the right time so they catch it early but only have to test once.

The baby's heart rate was in the 140s to 150s. The NP couldn't pinpoint a number because the baby was flopping around too much while she was using the Doppler.

I had a second dream that the baby was a boy. Not sure if that means anything, but after two like that, I now have no idea or inkling about baby's gender.

I cannot remember if I have more to blog about...I am exhausted. If I think of anything else, I will post again tomorrow.

16 Weeks 5 Days

I'm about 95% sure I already have gestational diabetes. How depressing!

At my 12 week appt my doctor said to randomly check my blood glucose some mornings and an hour after some meals. I admit I only did it maybe once a week, but today when I got up my level was 101 (should be under 100). So after a normal, non-diabetic breakfast of cereal with milk, my level was 174 (should be under 140).

I called the doctor's office and spoke to an RN who told me to eat a diabetic diet and check my blood sugars the regular 4 times a day (upon waking and 1 hour after breakfast, lunch, and dinner). She said to bring the results to my regularly scheduled 16 week appt on Friday.

It is very hard for me to eat that way, so for today, for ONE last day, I ate what I wanted. I did check my blood sugars, though, to remind me why I have to make a radical change starting tomorrow. My lunch level was okay - 137. However, after dinner it was 196 - scary! I don't think it was ever that high with Hadley (that's because I ate responsibly once I knew I had diabetes).

So, although I have not been officially diagnosed, I failed 3 out of 4 home tests today while eating a non-diabetic diet. For me, that is as good as a 3 hour glucose test any day. Tomorrow the fun begins - measuring portions, counting carbs, eating 6 times a day at scheduled times, recording the time I start eating, recording what I eat and how much of it, poking myself four times a day- in the morning and exactly one hour after I begin my meals, and monitoring everything I eat and drink. Ish.

By the way, for anyone reading, the high sugars for one day do not put the baby or me in any danger. It's high sugars continuously over a long period of time that are bad.

Not much else to report. Just waiting for Friday.

15 Weeks 4 Days

I have been so busy lately. With what, I have no idea...just life I guess.

I have been very uncomfortable and hot at night. I wake up sweating and have to rip all the covers off. Then I still feel so hot I cannot get back to sleep. I'm sleeping with a couple different pillows now to be comfortable, but they don't seem to be doing anything except making me hotter. I woke up a couple of times with indigestion as well. Makes for a short night of sleep.

I am looking forward to my next appointment, even if nothing very exciting will happen. I will see a NP this time, and I've never met her, so hopefully I like her. I see her on the 20th when I'll be 17 weeks.

We got a toddler bed for Hadley, well, my mother-in-law did. It was at a garage sale for a reasonable price, which is good in case Hadley doesn't use it for long. I haven't seen it yet, so I don't know what kind of shape it's in, but it should solve our bed issues for awhile.

I had a dream over the weekend that I had already had the baby, and it was a boy. Not sure what that means, because consciously I think it is a girl. I really have no scientific reason to think one way or the other, but my feelings have been saying girl. I guess we should know for sure by the middle of July.

We also changed our minds about the new daycare. I wasn't crazy about some of her discipline techniques or her patience level the day Hadley and I went to visit. I am just going to keep her with Susan until we know a more specific date of when she's moving. Also, Ben might be offered a job in another town, so we might be moving ourselves come fall. So much is up in the air...not a good feeling when there is a baby on the way!

14 Weeks 3 Days

We found out last week that our daycare provider is moving! We are so bummed. I started searching last week and found a new provider on Friday. Hadley starts there in two weeks and the baby will be able to go there, too, which is great. She has an associates degree in child care and she has been a provider for 8 years. She also does preschool curriculum, which is a plus. I think it will be a good fit, but I am worried about switching Hadley and how she will handle it. She is not very good with people she doesn't know well. I'm going to take her there on my days off so she can play and get to know everyone. Hopefully that will help her.

I had my first case of indigestion. We ate Chinese food for supper and I was fine until I went to bed. I felt crappy and kept burping and burping. Two Tums and it was gone.

I swear I felt the baby kick the other day, but then I held still to try and feel it again and nothing. Must have been my imagination. I think it is too early for that anyway.

My belly is getting bigger and bigger. Feeling pretty good, though. Craving donuts lately. So weird...only bought them twice...so far.

13 Weeks 2 Days

I had my first real OB appt on Friday. It was helpful, but now I feel a little worried about this pregnancy. They will test me for gestational diabetes early, probably at 24 weeks. It is pretty likely that I will get it again. Yuck.

We talked about the low amniotic fluid that I had in my last pregnancy, and she said they will monitor me closely to watch for that in case it happens again. I will have an ultrasound at 28 weeks to check for growth and fluid and another at 32 weeks to check again. After 32 weeks, I will have weekly biophysical profiles (also done with ultrasound) to check baby's well being and to monitor my fluid. Kind of nerve wracking, but I am glad to know I will have all of those checks. Last time I never felt a thing and never knew anything was wrong, so it scares me to think what might have happened if I hadn't had a growth check at 32 weeks due to diabetes. Hadley may have died. Awful to think about something like that happening so late in a pregnancy.

We also discussed VBAC and repeat c-sections. She was leaning towards a repeat c-section at first because I had a c-section less than 18 months before starting this pregnancy. Then I asked about the varicosities around my uterus and then she seemed unsure about doing a repeat c-section on purpose. We decided that we will have to just take things one day at a time. I will plan for a VBAC unless there are complications with this pregnancy that make a c-section a better option. For example, if the baby is too big, if I don't go into labor spontaneously, if my fluid drops again, if the baby is breach, etc. There are so many scenarios - it is just too soon to make that kind of a decision. At least I know I feel comfortable with my new doctor and that I trust her opinions about all this.

I have been having more symptoms lately. I have acne on my chest and back, I have hair starting to grow in a line from my belly button on down, I have had a couple of headaches, I have sinus stuff going on (hard to tell if it is from pregnancy or not), and my wedding ring hasn't fit for a couple of weeks already. I know I had all of these symptoms last time, but I don't remember when they happened exactly.

Oh, and I forgot, when I was laying on my back at the doctor and she went to listen to the heartbeat, she said something like, "Wow, look at you, you're already getting a belly!" She's right, but I figure if she noticed, then it must be big. I have gained 4 lbs since my April appt. We still haven't spent any time working on a name. Lots of time for that, but it goes so quickly! Maybe soon.

11 Weeks 5 Days

The screening results today came back good. It isn't a guarantee, but it shows the odds that our child will have a chromosomal abnormality. The tests changed the odds in our favor, we now have only a 1 in 5800 chance (give or take a couple hundred) that our child will have an abnormality. It doesn't cover all possible problems, but a couple of major ones like down syndrome. I know I'm not explaining it well, but let's just say it was a great result and leave it at that.

The ultrasound today was fun - the baby looks good. His/her foot measured 0.8 cm in length. So tiny! His/her heart rate was 163. He/she was moving like crazy. It's funny to see him/her move so much when you cannot feel a thing yet. They gave us a ton of cool pictures. In one, the baby is "waving" hello - you can see the whole arm and hand up by the face. Cute!

It is such a relief to have everything working out for this pregnancy. I will be 12 weeks on Friday and everything today seemed fine, so I should be in the clear for miscarriage. What a great feeling! Six months and I will have a second child! It seems like just yesterday we were struggling just to get pregnant the first time. Two babies two years apart - I never thought that would happen for us. I am glad our kids will be close in age. (well at least the first two!) We are feeling pretty blessed today.

My Niece

I think she is the cutest baby I have ever seen, besides my own. So adorable! Now I really cannot wait to meet her. I just had to share a picture of her.

11 Weeks 2 Days

I'm an auntie! My first niece was born on Saturday! She weighed 7 lbs 9 oz and mom and baby are both doing well. The only bad thing was me being at my in-laws cabin on the border of Canada and MN with no vehicle. I haven't been able to meet her yet. It's probably just as well, because Hadley has had a fever since Saturday, so she wouldn't have been able to visit anyway. We're hoping to go next weekend (they are about 3 1/2 to 4 hours from here). Either way, it is very exciting to know my brother has a daughter!

We made a great purchase on Thursday night. There is an electronic for sale/want ad system at my work, and I posted that I wanted a Graco double stroller that would work with the infant car seat we used with Hadley. A lady called on Thursday and said her friend had one in her garage sale for $75 and that it was in great shape. I sent Ben over and we bought it. Just like that, one major purchase made at half the price of a new one. Even better that it is black and gray and goes great with the infant seat we already have. It just needs a good cleaning and we'll be all set. What awesome luck!

10 Weeks 5 Days

I've got a bad case of pregnant brain. I keep forgetting stuff at work. Nothing that has affected patient care, but stuff that was kind of important to my co-workers. I am going to have to be extra diligent about writing stuff down from now on.

I had the finger prick yesterday. It was pretty dull - but they lied when they told me it would only take 5 minutes. I was gone from work for 20. Oh well - that's my only appointment so far where I'll have to miss work.

I have a stupid cold sore on my nose right between my nostrils. It isn't very conspicuous, but it hurts quite a bit. The funny thing is, they only other time in my life that I had a cold sore was right after I delivered Hadley. I hope this is my only bout with it this time around.

The only real craving I have had so far is for french fries. SOOOO unhealthy! Oh, and the smell of vinegar and cooked broccoli stink really bad to me. No nausea really, but they reek.

I have two friends that are being monitored for possible miscarriages. That news has hit me hard. I feel guilty that my pregnancy is still going well and the others are not. It will be hard to go on with mine feeling happy if they have losses. I imagine that knowing our babies were due around the same time will make it hard for them to watch me go through pregnancy. I hope if they lose their babies they will be able to try again and have success soon.

My brother's girlfriend is due Saturday. I haven't talked to them, but I would think delivery would be any day now. I cannot wait to have a niece! Hopefully next time I post I will be an auntie!

10 Weeks 2 Days

Less than 2 weeks and I'll be twelve weeks! That's so exciting...I cannot wait! Things have been going good. Only that one night of disturbed sleep, thank goodness. I still haven't had much nausea. I have had a couple of minor pains in my pelvis, but nothing serious enough to go in for, and they haven't lasted long. I know I'm not as dizzy as I was with Hadley. I couldn't do any gardening because I would almost fall over every time I tried to crouch down or kneel.

We did a ton of yard work this weekend, and we still have more to do. It's been hard with snow the past couple of weekends. Hadley likes to "help" - she gets so dirty, but it's fun. She loves to be outside. We moved some plants, split some plants, trimmed some plants, raked, etc. Too bad our grass looks like crap. Neither of us is any good at that, and we cannot afford to pay the experts. Good thing most of our neighbors have crappy lawns, too.

Hadley's swimming is going well - she really enjoys it. She may not be actually learning anything, but she is getting used to the water and having a blast.

She started talking finally - she says "go" and "hi" and "ball" (bow is what it sounds like). She still says all the animal sounds she did before - "meow" and "moo" and "quack" (kack, kack, kack - so cute!) and "tweet" (tee, tee, tee) and she pants with her tongue out for a dog. I think she says dad (dah) and I'm not sure if she says mom or not. Sometimes I think so?

Tuesday I have my finger prick for the first trimester screening. We won't know the results until the 14th when I have the ultrasound part done. Some people don't have any type of screening during pregnancy, but I would want to prepare myself if my baby is going to have abnormalities at birth. The tests are not 100 percent accurate, but they can warn you of a potential problem. I'm sure mine will turn out fine.

9 Weeks 3 Days

Today sucked. I woke up at 3 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. I fell asleep about 5:45 and then had to get up at 6:10. I went to bed last night at 10:30 PM, and I was not a cheery girl at work today. I like about 9-10 hours a night (I usually only get that on the weekends). Hadley had swimming tonight, so I had to find energy for that. It was pretty fun but now I'm exhausted. I'm not sure if it was hormones that got me up or what. I hope I get a good night's sleep tonight. Can you tell how tired I am? I sound ridiculous. Goodnight!

8 Weeks 6 Days

My lab results look good. I am RH negative (which I already knew) and I am a group B streptococcus carrier. My glucose level at this point was normal, so that is good. I decided to go through with the new 1st trimester screening tests. I have the finger prick on May 6th and the ultrasound on May 14th. They are more accurate at predicting abnormalities than the quad screen, so I thought it just made sense. My first appt with my OB is on May 23rd. Lots of stuff that month.

Three more weeks until the higher threat of miscarriage is over. That will be a great feeling. I have been doing well. Still very tired and already showing. Looks like my belly is going to be huge again.

We are talking some about names - nothing picked out yet. It's hard to find something I like that isn't too popular. I check names against the SSA Website to see how common they are in the US. What a great tool!

I have also been struggling with my REs office and my insurance company. My first two visits down there were initially denied so it has taken a lot of phone calls to try and straighten things out. I think finally today we have it fixed, but I thought that before, so I'll believe it when I get a statement saying the bill has been paid!

Hopefully the next week and a half until my next appt is uneventful. So far so good.

7 Weeks 5 Days

Today I had my first OB appointment. It was pretty uneventful. I answered a bunch of questions, got some information to take home, and had some labs taken.

The appointment wasn't very helpful for me because most of my questions will have to be answered by my doctor. I am wondering about whether a VBAC or a C-section will be best for me. I need to ask her about the varicose veins that they saw around my uterus in my previous surgeries and if/how they affect that decision. I also want to know how long to take some medications and how early I will be tested for gestational diabetes.

The nurse did order a random glucose test today along with the standard prenatal labs to do an initial generic test for diabetes. Mostly it will just tell them if I need further testing this early.

She also told me that she was going to categorize my pregnancy as high risk based on my previous pregnancy and delivery. She said they will monitor me closely because of the way my amniotic fluid dropped in my last pregnancy. She said that can happen to mothers the second time around. I never heard that before, but I trust she knows what she is talking about. I guess I'll just wait and see what my doctor has to say about it.

My next step is to decide whether to have a new screening test for abnormalities in my first trimester or to have the basic maternal quad screen in week 16. The new test sounds like just an additional ultrasound and a lab, so it wouldn't be hard. I just have to check with my insurance company to make sure they will cover it. I guess I'll let that make my decision.

Hadley had swimming tonight. At first she just clung to me and was nervous, but near the end she was kicking and having a blast. I cannot wait to take her again next week.

My next appointment will be with the doctor at 13 weeks, so it will be awhile. I hope things stay uneventful until then.

7 Weeks 3 Days

Today I saw the report from the ultrasound, and everything is normal. I figured that, but it was nice to see it in writing. My RE must not have gotten the results, because they have not called me yet.

I also called to schedule my OB appointments through week 24, and I switched docs. All of the docs in the practice are taking new OB patients, so that was nice - I got to pick the exact one I wanted. Woohoo!! I have seen her a couple of times when my previous doc was out, and I really liked her. A couple of friends of mine go to her and they have only good things to say about her. I will just be glad to have a doc that remembers me and isn't chronically 2 hours behind in appointments.

Hadley was supposed to have her first swimming lesson today, but it was cancelled due to a power outage. We were bummed, but I guess you cannot swim in the dark. We'll try again on Weds when we have the next lesson. It's hard to feel comfortable in a swimsuit anyway, so I got to put that off for a couple of days. Hadley didn't care - I don't think she really understood where we were going.

My brother's girlfriend's baby shower was Saturday. Mom and Hadley and I went up for the day. We had a good time, and we got to see my brother's new house. I am so thrilled to be an aunt - I cannot wait! She is due in less than 4 weeks.

The next two days are my days off, and I am looking forward to resting a bit. I have my first OB appt with a nurse on Weds afternoon. If I remember right, it's basically just labs and information handouts, nothing too exciting. It definitely will make this pregnancy seem more official.

7 Weeks - Ultrasound Day!

There's only one! What a relief! Baby's heartbeat was 141 BPM and he/she measured at 7 weeks 0 days. That makes my due date November 28th. We were so relieved to see it on screen. Of course, I haven't gotten the official report from my doctor yet - that probably won't happen until Monday.

I almost didn't get to have the test today. My OB's office called to say that they were closing early due to weather and that my appointment would have to be rescheduled to next week. However, I used to work in another area of the building that does ultrasounds and so I took my order there and got in right away. They had some cancellations so that worked out great!

I have been feeling about the same. Tired, going to the bathroom a lot, and now my face is breaking out. Fun stuff. At least I'm not vomiting or anything. I'm over halfway through the first trimester, and only five weeks away from the end of the major miscarriage threat, so that's exciting. It won't be long for that milestone to come. Of all the pregnancy milestones, that one comes the slowest and relieves the most worries.

5 Weeks 4 Days

I am starting to calm down about the pregnancy. I still have worries but I have moved most of them to the back of my mind. It took me a couple of weeks to work through my fears, and now it's better.

As far as symptoms go...I have been very tired lately, and I can no longer make it through a movie without having to go to the bathroom. I am still not sleeping normally. Last night was good, but I have been having trouble falling asleep at night and/or waking up very early and then having problems falling back asleep. Saturday was really rough - I felt nauseated all day. I never vomited, but I felt like maybe I should.

Ben and I have been talking about the baby's gender. I hope it's a girl, and Ben says he doesn't care as long as the baby is healthy. His response makes me feel a little guilty about wanting a girl, but obviously I also want a healthy baby - I think of that as something everyone always wants! We also have NO idea about a name for either gender. Good thing we have lots of time.

Thanks to everyone for their nice comments. I like seeing who is reading the blog. Be sure to vote on the new poll before the ultrasound on the 11th - it's kind of fun!

4 Weeks 5 Days

Here we are at five weeks. I'm still feeling pregnant...bigger breasts, tired, etc. And now I'm peeing more often too. Good thing I work where there are LOTS of bathrooms!

I'm still very nervous. That ultrasound cannot come fast enough. I know I haven't lost a pregnancy before, but I know people who have, and it scares me. To see a heartbeat and know that the baby is growing safely would be a huge thing.

Oh, and the thought of twins is freaking me out now, not just the thought of one more child. If a newborn and a toddler is scary, TWO newborns and a toddler is terrifying! I guess I would be done then, right? No need to go through this again.

I'm trying to be patient and take the pregnancy one day at a time, but my (somewhat) irrational fears are making that difficult. They are also keeping me from sleeping well. Hopefully after the ultrasound I can sleep normally...well as normally as you can when you have to get up in the night to pee.

I just realized today that my ultrasound is the day before my brother's girlfriend's baby shower. I really hope we don't get bad news at that appointment - it would be very hard for me to have fun at someone else's shower the next day. I plan to stay very, very excited either way, because she will have my first niece (and Hadley's first cousin) soon. I just wish they lived closer to us. I guess we'll just have to make lots of road trips to get the kids together.

4 Weeks 1 Day

Well, I'm officially feeling the signs of early pregnancy.

I am extra tired and I feel like I cannot sleep enough. Then I wake up at weird times and have trouble falling back asleep.

I keep dropping things, and I did that all the time with Hadley. Yesterday I dropped my lunch bag on the way out to my car in the morning, a bag containing specimens at work, and a fork on the way to the table at dinner. Then today I dropped keys in the snow. Nothing really important, but I just feel like a klutz.

I swear my breasts are bigger already. No complaints there. :)

Smells have started to bother me - mostly Ben's coffee in the morning. Yuck.

I feel kind of "sick" in general. My stomach has felt uneasy the last couple of days, and eating always seems to help. Just what I need is to be stuffing my face all day!

I am starting to worry about how to handle a 2 year old and a newborn. Logistical things like where they will both sleep and ride in the car and fit in a stroller (we'll need a new one since ours seats one). Then there are the thoughts on how we will afford more diapers and more than double the daycare expense.

I knew all these things (and others) would have to be resolved, but being pregnant starts my mind racing about how to implement all the changes. I know that having another child is going to be wonderful, even if we have to change our routines and give up some things to which we are accustomed. I cannot wait to add another little person to our family!

P.S. I told the rest of my family - meaning moms, dads, and siblings. I am glad I did.

It Went Up!

My result today was 91.4. So it tripled - a good sign of a healthy pregnancy. The next step is an ultrasound to confirm that the pregnancy is progressing and in the right spot (not in the tubes or anything). We will also confirm any multiples at that time. I have that scheduled for April 11th. I'll be 7 weeks by then.

I don't really feel much of anything yet - just tired. But that's not a big deal - I'm only 4 weeks.

I am kind of nervous about telling some of my family about the pregnancy. I worry that something bad might happen, and then I would have to tell all of them about that, too. With Hadley I just told everyone, but this time I'm being kind of a worry-wart. I'm not sure what that is about. Maybe I'll feel more excited and positive once I tell everyone. We'll see.

BFP!

It was positive! 30.2 MIU/ML to be exact. Normal range is 9 - 130. Under 2 would be negative. I am so thrilled! And to think, we almost gave up on this cycle!

My result was a little on the low side, though, so I am sure they will repeat in a couple of days. With Hadley, I was at 51, and they retested four days later and it was 380. The level should double every about every two days.

It is still very, very early, but to me, a positive is a positive. That's the attitude I had with Hadley, and that's how I feel today. I'm aware of the realities, but focusing on only good thoughts!

The doctor's office will call me this afternoon to tell me what to do next. I'll post again after that.

**************UPDATE**************

I was right, they want me to repeat the test on Thursday. The nurse didn't say anything about it being low, though, she just congratulated me. That was nice because with Hadley, the nurse who called was very negative when she told me. Like I wasn't supposed to be excited about a positive test...whatever!

No offense to anyone who reads the news here first. I am not calling anyone until the second test result shows a healthy pregnancy. I figure anyone devoted to reading this should know today, but I'm really not ready to spread the word yet.

Five Days To Go!

I'm still waiting - only four more long days and one short morning until I find out if I'm pregnant. I don't really feel any different, just bloated. I'm not worried, though, because I didn't feel anything special with Hadley at this point either. My instincts tell me that the test will be positive, but I have nothing to base that on except my own intuition. I'm getting very excited.

I'm trying to decide how to tell people the results. I've thought about posting them here and not calling anyone - that could be fun - see which of my friends and family actually read this thing. I have trouble keeping my mouth shut with that big of news, but maybe I could try.

Okay, this is crazy. As I'm typing this, I feel like I'm leaking a tiny bit of milk. I haven't felt that in about two months. It kind of gives me hope! I know a woman who got pregnant not too long after she quit nursing, and one of her first symptoms was leaking milk! Let's just hope it means something and isn't just a coincidence.

Twelve Days To Go!

Our 2nd IUI went well. Not much to report. I felt some cramping today at work when I tried to do too much running around. After that I tried to move slow and take it easy - that helped. Other than that all I feel is bloated.

Tomorrow I start twice a day progesterone suppositories (vaginal). They suck - I took them with Hadley and they kept me on them until I was 11 weeks pregnant. They are mostly just precautionary so they kind of annoy me, but I'll live.

My doctor ordered a blood test for the 18th to see if I'm pregnant. Twelve days and I'll know if the IUIs worked - I cannot wait! I hope it goes by fast.

Day 28

The first IUI was pretty uneventful. I feel pretty bloated and exhausted today (from the injection last night). After giving myself a shot every night for the last 27 days, it felt good to have tonight off. It was an awfully long month, but I made it through. One more day to go.

Day 27

My follicles this morning were 13.7 mm on the right side and 17.1 mm on the left. The third follicle shrunk. (Whew!) That should mean no chance of triplets, but still a chance of twins. My estradiol was 163 PG/ML, and my lining was 9.7 mm and trilaminar.

I figured they would give me one more day and recheck tomorrow. I guess 18 mm isn't set in stone, because the nurse told me to inject the Ovidrel tonight (this causes ovulation around 36 to 40 hours later). I will go to Mpls tomorrow and Thursday for IUIs. Finally!

I am amazed at how long this cycle took. It felt like it would never end. I guess I don't know how long they will let you go before giving up - they told me we would quit if I hadn't responded by day 21, so probably right around then. I definitely trust that my doc knows what he's doing. (Although he did give me the choice of giving up... hmm...)

If I get pregnant this cycle, my due date will be two days after Hadley's 2nd birthday - and Thanksgiving Day. However, she was due Jan 6th and arrived Nov 25th, so I take a due date with a grain of salt because I know anything can happen. For now, I'm going to focus on getting pregnant. Wish me luck.

Day 26

Two of the follicles grew, and one shrank. On the right I had a 13.4 mm and a 10.3 mm, and on the left was a 14.6 mm. My lining was 8.3 mm and trilaminar. My estradiol was 151 PG/ML. They told me to take 150 IU tonight and come back in tomorrow. That means I'm close and things look great!

I'm glad I didn't decide to quit back on day 18! I almost did quit - part of me wanted to take a break from meds and start from scratch next month. Now I might do an IUI this week - I guess I made the right decision!

The past 4 or 5 days I have been feeling better - not so bloated. Still tired, but not as many mood swings. Only one new bruise for a total of 7. More tomorrow.

Day 24

Things are looking up! Today I had 3 measurable follicles - 11.5 mm, 11 mm, and 12 mm. Woohoo! I'm not sure what my estradiol was today, but they told me two days at 100 IU and go back in on Monday for another check.

Hopefully one follicle will dominate the others so I don't have to worry about triplets. Twins would be a lot of work, but triplets or more scare the @!*# out of me. In mother nature, usually one follicle grows big and signals the others to back off.

We're looking for one (or more) follicle(s) to be 18 mm+ and for my estradiol to be 150 - 200 per follicle. The size of the follicle combined with the proper estradiol level signals a mature and healthy egg.

Today was U/S and lab #8 for this month. I don't even want to know how much all of that costs. Add to that three trips to Mpls and back (gas), and 1500 IU of medication so far. Don't get me wrong, a child is completely worth it, but this sucks financially.

Day 21

Okay, so no follicles over 10 mm today, but my estradiol was 106 PG/ML and my lining was 11.5 mm and partially trilaminar.

I was very disappointed after my U/S today. I was almost 100 % sure the doc would cancel my cycle because I hadn't made any measurable follicles yet. I knew my estradiol had risen, but I wasn't sure if that was enough to keep going since it is getting kind of late in my cycle. "Fertile Myrtle ovulates on day 14." (Quotes here indicate sarcasm so imagine this in a snotty sing-song voice).

Imagine my surprise when the nurse told me the doctor wants me to do 100 IU for three days and come in on Saturday for further monitoring. The tone of her message implied that she thinks the doctor is nuts. I don't really care, as long as he thinks there is a chance to save this cycle.

It's my understanding that because my estradiol increased, there is still hope for a follicle. It would be nice for something to happen so that this month does not end up a total waste.

For the record, my lab bruise count is up to 5, and I have one new self inflicted injection bruise, for a total of 6 bruises this cycle. Just a fun fact.

Day 18

Still no follicles over 10 mm at my U/S today. The nurse called me about noon and said they are letting me decide what to do next. I thought to myself, "WHAT!?!" She said I could take 100 IU for three days and monitor on Weds or end my cycle and take provera to induce a new cycle. My estradiol hadn't risen since the last check, but she said it was up to me. Boy did I hate that. Isn't that why I'm paying the doc the big bucks - so he can decide what's best for me?

I'm going to try to get something out of this cycle and continue the meds. There must be a small chance of hope that I could grow a follicle, otherwise they wouldn't let me try, right? That's my theory anyway. The nurse said if I don't have a measurable follicle by Weds, we will quit for this month. That will be a bummer, but it's nothing I haven't been through before.

Now, of course, I am questioning my decision to not do acupuncture this time. I know I said we cannot afford it, and that's true. However, the one month I did it I ovulated and got pregnant. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but what if that's what made it happen? I fear I'm just waisting my time and money by not doing it.

I would like to say that when it's meant to be I'll get pregnant, but that's such an ignorant statement to me. If I had that mentality, I wouldn't have gone through treatments before, and I wouldn't have Hadley. Besides, I just cannot believe that there is some grand scheme where we have to go though hell to be parents and other idiots can reproduce on a whim. If that's true, I'd like to meet the genius who decided that. I would certainly give him a piece of my mind.

Day 15

I had monitoring again today. Still no measurable follicles, and tons under 10 mm. The tech did measure a couple of 8 mms though, so maybe one will grow big. My lining is partially trilaminar and 7.9 mm. My estradiol was 69 PG/ML, so that dropped, and I have no idea what role that plays. I wish I were a doc or nurse in this field so I could get it.

They told me to take 75 IU for three days and come in Sunday for monitoring. That sucks because my mom's flight is Sunday at 10:50 AM, so now I have to get up super early to make it to an appointment before the airport. At least they are both in Mpls and on the same day.

This seems like a never ending cycle - I feel like I've been taking shots forever and had no response. Even though my IUI cycle with Hadley lasted 21 days before HCG, I don't remember it taking this long. I suppose I blocked it out because at the end of it all I found out I was pregnant.

Testing Sunday will be scary because it will be day 18. Last time, day 19 was the day that Hadley's follicle measured over 10 mm, so it will worry me if I don't respond by day 18. I am afraid they will cancel my cycle. That always feels like such a waste after all this work and money. I'll just keep hoping for the best.

Day 13

Still no measurable follicles today. My estradiol is up to 76 though. The doc said 75 IU tonight and tomorrow night and monitor again on Thursday. The lab tech dug around in my arm which was fun and then she drew from my hand which hurt. Lab bruise count this cycle: 3 (so far) Not much else to report.

Detoured

I called the nurses this morning to let them know what happened this weekend. They basically said that the plan they give in the office is a "guess" (my word, not theirs) and that they will call if the doctor has other plans - which he did in my case. So I bet the nurse assumed that I have been their before and should know that, but this was only the second time I monitored down there. Very frustrating!

They called back in the afternoon to tell me to take 75 IU tonight and still come in tomorrow for monitoring. I'll post after that tomorrow.

Stupid Nurses!

I am pretty irritated tonight. After my appt yesterday, we stayed at my in-laws because today we had to be at the airport to pick up my mom. We got home this afternoon around 5 PM and there was a message on my machine from their office telling me to take 75 IU LAST NIGHT! I was pissed off because before I left there yesterday, the nurse said specifically to take 50 IU for three days and then return the 19th for monitoring. So of course being out of town last night, I took 50 IU. Now they are not open until tomorrow.

I have decided to take 75 IU tonight and call them in the morning to tell them I didn't get the message until today. The nurse down there never said they were going to call with different instructions, so I never thought to check my voice mail at home for a message. They did have me in and out of there fast - I had a blood draw then within 5 minutes had my U/S. The nurse sits in the room for the U/S, and she gave me my instructions for meds, gave me an order for Tuesday's monitoring, and told me I could leave.

I know they gave me instructions without estradiol results because they don't get processed that fast. That means when they got the results I was already gone, the doctor was probably called, and then they called me to say that "Dr. ___ wants to change your medications..." That's annoying - they try to act like it was the doctor's fault. I think it's irresponsible for the nurse I saw to give me instructions on medications without first seeing my estradiol and then talking to my doctor.

I just had to vent. That irks me that they leave a message and don't bother to reach me. Hopefully this one day lag in meds won't screw up my cycle. We'll see what they say tomorrow.

Day 10

Just a quick update...I went to Mpls for monitoring today. Still no follicles over 10 mm, and I'm not sure about my estradiol. They didn't wait for the lab results before they gave me instructions. They said three more days of meds at the same dose (50 IU) then monitoring again on day 13.

Yesterday I looked closer at my records, and the follicle that produced Hadley's egg didn't appear on the radar until day 15. So I am not worried, just a little impatient and excited to see what happens. Until then...

Day 7

I had monitoring today. My right ovary had 40 follicles under 10 mm and none over, and my left had 50+ under 10 mm and none over. My endometrium lining was 8.1 mm and homogenous. My estradiol was <28 PG/ML. They look for follicles that are developing to release an egg, and they don't measure them until they are at least 10 mm. My lining has to be trilaminar for an embryo to implant and around 8 or 9 mm in thickness.

To keep it simple, nothing has happened yet after four days of meds, although my lining has thickened some. The doctor said to do three more days of meds and come in on Saturday for monitoring.

The meds are going okay. I've had little things that might be side effects, like headache and lower back pain, but otherwise not much to report. I always feel disappointed when I go in and they don't see what they want yet, but I try to remember that the month I got pregnant with Hadley I had also barely responded by day 7.

I started listening to some guided meditation I downloaded off the Internet. I thought that since I cannot afford to do acupuncture this time (it costs $50+ a week for one session!) I would try some relaxation therapy at home. It probably doesn't do the same thing as acupuncture, but it is free and worth a try.

My mom is coming Sunday for a visit. I am excited to see her, and I know she is looking forward to seeing Hadley. It will be nice to have her here if I have any appointments next week, especially if we get to the IUI while she is here - we would have an automatic babysitter. I'm not sure when that will happen, though. With Hadley, (the one IUI we did) the IUIs weren't until day 22 and 23, so it may be awhile.

Rookie?

I started medication last night - 50 IU of Follistim. It has been nearly two years since I gave myself a shot, and I was nervous. Even though I've done it about a hundred times, I felt like a rookie. It's very easy and doesn't hurt, but it is still nerve racking. I was taught how to inject myself in Sept 05, so I guess the learning part was a long time ago. Tonight will probably feel strange, but I'm sure by tomorrow night it will be routine again.

My next step is to go in on Weds to check a lab and U/S to see how I'm responding to the meds. More then.

Feeling Fine

I talked to a better RE nurse today. She took the time to answer my questions. She said the beta comes back positive even before implantation if your pregnant. Whew! Don't have to worry about that one. Also, light bleed doesn't matter for this cycle so I can go ahead. Too bad I spent a day freaking out. Pretty typical of me. I don't know what I was thinking anyway. My lining was only 5.7 mm and was homogenous, and it would need to be like 8 or 9 and trilaminar for implantation. Boy this stuff makes me crazy!

The Obsession

Okay, a lot has happened since yesterday, so here goes. I'm going to give you a time line of sorts.

Thursday
10:00 AM
See blood while at work. Call ins company to check that referral has gone through. They say they haven't gotten anything. Call RM (reproductive medicine) nurses at my monitoring clinic to check on status of referral and have to leave a message. Call my RE's office to tell them it is cycle day 1. They order an ultrasound (U/S) (aka follicle study) for day 2 to check my status, Follistim on day 3-6 and a lab (Estradiol) and U/S on day 7 (Feb 13) to check my progress. They fax the order to me. Provide fax number to my pharmacy for the meds. Call RM nurses to schedule day 2 U/S and have to leave another message. Between work tasks this takes me until lunch time.

2:00 PM
Receive a call from referral coordinator saying that referral has been "sent" to the RE. Good enough. Start to worry when I hardly notice much blood.

4:45 PM
Still no call back to schedule U/S for next day. About to leave work to go get Hadley and decide to call again. Leave another message.

4:47 PM
Get a call from RM nurse and schedule US for 9 AM the next day.

6:30 PM
Worrying some more about lack of blood. I research implantation bleeding and wonder if it is the right time in my previous cycle to be having that instead. I have no idea. Decide if not much change before 7:30 AM when RE opens, will call them.

7:30 PM
Call my mom to talk about period vs spotting. I decide to stick to my plan to call the RE if no change.

Friday

6:00 AM
Period pretty much non-existent overnight.

7:15 AM
Some more blood, but not a ton. Decide not to call and just go to U/S.

9:00 AM
Go to U/S appt

9:45 AM
Print U/S report and fax it to RE. 25 small follicles on the right ovary and 40 on the left. Fibroid has gotten smaller. Uterine lining is 5.7 mm and homogenous.

12:00 PM
RE nurse calls, they want to do a lab because my uterine lining is thicker than they would like. She faxes me the order, I notice it is for a pregnancy test. Whatever. Call to schedule lab appt. Go to lab appt. Start thinking again about very light period and wonder if they too think it could be blood from implantation. Wishing I hadn't called about this "day 1" at all; things would be easier.

1:15 PM
View lab results, beta HCG is negative. (duh) Call RE nurse and she says I can start meds tomorrow. Obsessing by now...mention the lightness of period and ask if I should hold off on meds just in case (this would only be day 19 of my previous cycle). She was very blunt and rude and said, there is no "just in case" - you're bleeding and your pregnancy test was negative. Felt like I asked a dumb question. Lovely. Ask about meds, she says they faxed prescription to pharmacy yesterday.

2:00 PM
Go down to pharmacy, no prescription received.

2:05 PM
Go back to my desk, call RE nurse and have her fax prescription directly to me.

2:10 PM
Hand carry prescription to pharmacy. The same chick goes, "oh, here's your order" - right in front of her! - "your name was partially cut off." Spend 10 minutes with pharmacist because doc wrote for 2 300 IU cartridges and they only have one 900 IU cartridge in stock. Frustrated because insurance covers at a higher rate at only THIS pharmacy. Pharmacist tells me difference between amount prescribed and amount they have is $70. He crunches some more numbers and finally tells me that he will sell me the 900 IU cartridge for what it would have cost me if they had the smaller one. (one thing goes right)

2:30 PM
Go down to pharmacy again, this time to drop $134.22 for the meds. Ick. Go to employee break room to store medication in lunch fridge until the end of my work day. So fun.

3:30 PM
Have more obsessive thoughts about light period. Still very light but still bright red. The lightness worries me, but I think two days of bright red blood, even if it's not a lot probably isn't implantation. Then I change my mind again.

8:00 PM
Call a friend who will understand. Still very obsessed about period - still not normal, consistent flow. I am worried about a very early pregnancy and starting Follistim and what that might do to an embryo. She isn't sure but helps me decide to call the RE in the AM and see if I can get a more reassuring answer from a nurse. I think I know too much about all this and wish I were ignorant so I could get through it easier.

9:00 PM
The obsession continues. I do some more research, this time about HCG levels and how soon your levels rise in a pregnancy. I find that HCG shows up in the bloodstream around the time of implantation, but then also read that it is produced by the placenta, which isn't fully formed at the moment of implantation. Therefore, I am no more confident than earlier.

11:00 PM
Time to finally blog this leg of my journey. I decide to do the time line to give readers an idea of what just 2 days are like for me (and others going through this process). It takes an enormous amount of time and commitment to get through this. I'll let you know how things go tomorrow.