The Obsession

Okay, a lot has happened since yesterday, so here goes. I'm going to give you a time line of sorts.

Thursday
10:00 AM
See blood while at work. Call ins company to check that referral has gone through. They say they haven't gotten anything. Call RM (reproductive medicine) nurses at my monitoring clinic to check on status of referral and have to leave a message. Call my RE's office to tell them it is cycle day 1. They order an ultrasound (U/S) (aka follicle study) for day 2 to check my status, Follistim on day 3-6 and a lab (Estradiol) and U/S on day 7 (Feb 13) to check my progress. They fax the order to me. Provide fax number to my pharmacy for the meds. Call RM nurses to schedule day 2 U/S and have to leave another message. Between work tasks this takes me until lunch time.

2:00 PM
Receive a call from referral coordinator saying that referral has been "sent" to the RE. Good enough. Start to worry when I hardly notice much blood.

4:45 PM
Still no call back to schedule U/S for next day. About to leave work to go get Hadley and decide to call again. Leave another message.

4:47 PM
Get a call from RM nurse and schedule US for 9 AM the next day.

6:30 PM
Worrying some more about lack of blood. I research implantation bleeding and wonder if it is the right time in my previous cycle to be having that instead. I have no idea. Decide if not much change before 7:30 AM when RE opens, will call them.

7:30 PM
Call my mom to talk about period vs spotting. I decide to stick to my plan to call the RE if no change.

Friday

6:00 AM
Period pretty much non-existent overnight.

7:15 AM
Some more blood, but not a ton. Decide not to call and just go to U/S.

9:00 AM
Go to U/S appt

9:45 AM
Print U/S report and fax it to RE. 25 small follicles on the right ovary and 40 on the left. Fibroid has gotten smaller. Uterine lining is 5.7 mm and homogenous.

12:00 PM
RE nurse calls, they want to do a lab because my uterine lining is thicker than they would like. She faxes me the order, I notice it is for a pregnancy test. Whatever. Call to schedule lab appt. Go to lab appt. Start thinking again about very light period and wonder if they too think it could be blood from implantation. Wishing I hadn't called about this "day 1" at all; things would be easier.

1:15 PM
View lab results, beta HCG is negative. (duh) Call RE nurse and she says I can start meds tomorrow. Obsessing by now...mention the lightness of period and ask if I should hold off on meds just in case (this would only be day 19 of my previous cycle). She was very blunt and rude and said, there is no "just in case" - you're bleeding and your pregnancy test was negative. Felt like I asked a dumb question. Lovely. Ask about meds, she says they faxed prescription to pharmacy yesterday.

2:00 PM
Go down to pharmacy, no prescription received.

2:05 PM
Go back to my desk, call RE nurse and have her fax prescription directly to me.

2:10 PM
Hand carry prescription to pharmacy. The same chick goes, "oh, here's your order" - right in front of her! - "your name was partially cut off." Spend 10 minutes with pharmacist because doc wrote for 2 300 IU cartridges and they only have one 900 IU cartridge in stock. Frustrated because insurance covers at a higher rate at only THIS pharmacy. Pharmacist tells me difference between amount prescribed and amount they have is $70. He crunches some more numbers and finally tells me that he will sell me the 900 IU cartridge for what it would have cost me if they had the smaller one. (one thing goes right)

2:30 PM
Go down to pharmacy again, this time to drop $134.22 for the meds. Ick. Go to employee break room to store medication in lunch fridge until the end of my work day. So fun.

3:30 PM
Have more obsessive thoughts about light period. Still very light but still bright red. The lightness worries me, but I think two days of bright red blood, even if it's not a lot probably isn't implantation. Then I change my mind again.

8:00 PM
Call a friend who will understand. Still very obsessed about period - still not normal, consistent flow. I am worried about a very early pregnancy and starting Follistim and what that might do to an embryo. She isn't sure but helps me decide to call the RE in the AM and see if I can get a more reassuring answer from a nurse. I think I know too much about all this and wish I were ignorant so I could get through it easier.

9:00 PM
The obsession continues. I do some more research, this time about HCG levels and how soon your levels rise in a pregnancy. I find that HCG shows up in the bloodstream around the time of implantation, but then also read that it is produced by the placenta, which isn't fully formed at the moment of implantation. Therefore, I am no more confident than earlier.

11:00 PM
Time to finally blog this leg of my journey. I decide to do the time line to give readers an idea of what just 2 days are like for me (and others going through this process). It takes an enormous amount of time and commitment to get through this. I'll let you know how things go tomorrow.